New Year Resolutions? Take a values check….

I’ve never been a fan of new year resolutions. I just don’t believe that most are sustainable and the last thing that ADHDers need is to set unrealistic goal posts which can inevitably leave us feeling like, yet again, we didn’t follow through!

I am a firm believer in leaning into our values however and I do enjoy taking a moment to review this part in the new year and to see if I am on track with it. Am I still aligning with the things that are the most important to me or have I gone (which I often tend to do) off piste?

If you haven’t done values work before or it has been a while, grab yourself a cuppa find 30 minutes and make a start. (set your timer if it helps keep you accountable). Taking a moment to reflect on whether we are meeting our needs is essential in order to feel more content in both our work and life in general.

The best place to start in writing a list of what is important to you. If you need some help there are many values lists available online to give you some ideas. It is important to be honest with yourself and not focus on the things that you feel you ‘should’ be focusing on. Maybe stability is essential, you need more creativity, more fun, spend more time with friends etc. Aim to write down a minimum of 10 things to start with that are essential in making you tick.

Once you have a list ask yourself what some of these things give you to get to the core value. For example the value of family, it ticks the core value of love and for some the values of security. If you want to travel more what does that give you? maybe you are missing the values of fun and adventure, or curiosity is important for you.

It can take some time to really get down to what your core values are, it takes time and reflection and is unlikely to happen in just one sitting. Sometimes working with a coach can help with this part. Our values play a role in everything that we do, our actions, decisions and our behaviours. It can often be a reality check to see if our relationships, friendships and our career/workplace are truly aligning with you we are and what we need.

Working in a career where our values are not being met can give us a sense of unease that is hard to shake. No matter how much we try to push on, the second brain in our gut will likely be telling us that all is not well. If the values of your company do not align with yours it may be time to ask yourself - what needs are not being met? Can this change and can they be met? What needs to change? What are your non-negotiables?

If one of your core values is freedom, some work environments may not work for you. If love of learning and growth are important you may feel unsupported and frustrated in an organisation that does not support this. It is important to also, like strengths, be careful to allow our values to take over and keep us stuck. When I was looking to make a career change my value of responsiblity kept me where I was for a long time. I had to be responsible which meant looking after my family, paying the bills, being in a secure job was what was ‘expected’ of me. Leaving a secure career to start a new business in a new industry with no safety net is not an easy step for many. However, my own coach helped me realise i could make the change in a way that I was still being responsible. I realised that I would never be irresponsible and i just needed to find a way to do it that kept this part of me happy.

So as we step into a new year, what values do you want to lean into this year? What area needs more attention?

This year I will be keeping myself in check to make sure I am honouring the values of love (family and friends), connection (talking to and meeting with others in my networks), purpose (supporting others and making a difference where I can) and love of learning (a constant when you are an ADHD Coach!). I will also be adding the value of health to that list. I’m not going to list how many times I will run or bike ride in a week, I wont be beating myself for not drinking 2L of water every day. However I will question myself more in this area this year and will strive to lean into this value where I can. Any improvement in exercise, diet, and emotional health (saying no to things for one!) will be a win and will be celebrated accordingly!